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Week Two, Game Two and the biggest takeaway from watching the Valparaiso Beacons and Bison warm up was the 60+ stairs it took to get to the press box were about 20 steps too many for me. It was the ultimate dilemma, either waiting for the elevator or taking my health into my own hands and walking what felt like a mile to the press box. I made the wrong decision. 

The Beacons came into this game after being embarrassed by NAIA Indiana Wesleyan last week 28-10 and Quarterback Teryn Berry looked….shell shocked. Anytime your QB throws more picks than touchdowns you’re in trouble but watching the highlights from that one was rough this week. Ben Nimz, who reportedly looked great in the spring, is getting the start today. For the sake of a competitive game, I am really hoping that is the case. North Dakota State was a -46.5 point favorite at kickoff. I can’t tell if that says more about NDSU or Valparaiso.

The Fargodome felt more full (and I know I had more people around me in the press box) last week. This week, fewer fans over 30 and more college aged fans. I’m going to chalk it up to the huge margin of potential victory and not a fan base that is so spoiled they are giving up a chance to watch live sports after a year being stuck inside.

For the second week in a row, the opposing team wasn’t on the sideline for the National Anthem. I talked to a guy from Albany that worked for the team last week and he said that the Bison had requested that? Or scheduled it so they are the only team on the field? I am confused why you wouldn’t want both teams on the sideline, especially for 9/11 but it’s neither here nor there. When you have won as many championships as Bisons, unity be damned. 

NDSU won the toss and deferred to the second half, which seems to be the popular thing among teams who win the toss these days. We need some scientists or mathematicians to give us the winning percentage of that decision. Nerds, get on it. 

And as expected, the Bison front got to task quickly. Valparaiso had a quick three and out after the NDSU front four ate up the run and got into Nimz’s face almost as soon as he got the ball from his center. To add insult to injury, punt returner Jayden Price took the punt with one bounce off the turf and returned it for a touchdown, blowing by the entire punt team for the Beacons. 

Then, Coach Matt Entz decided to really show off the toys and had Cam Miller come on and convert the two point conversion. Which to me was Entz immediately showing the ol “We are going to do whatever we want in this one, so settle in because this is going to be fun” The first time the Bison had a chance touch the ball, the offense didn’t even need to go on the field. This game has quickly turned into “Will the Bison win?” to “Can NDSU cover that spread?”

I have to give Nimz some credit, at least early in this game he doesn’t look rattled by the green and yellow streaks that are in the backfield more than his own running back. Last week, the Bison defense was able to force three turnovers, and I was already curious to see if they could add to the turnover margin in this one. Nimz hasn’t been careless with the ball in his first two drives, but if he has pressure in his face all day there isn’t a question in my mind that he’ll turn the ball over, multiple times.

The first offensive drive for the Bison started at their own eight after the punt, the worst field position of the season for NDSU so far. It didn’t matter. This Bison team (like I’ve been saying all week) is now a run first, hard nose defensive team, you could put them on the moon and they’d find a way to run the ball down your throat.

From their own eight into the endzone on run-run-run-run-run….well you get it. Capped off by a Brylon Henderson double handoff 28 yard scamper to take a 15-0 lead with 5:22 left in the first quarter. Nine plays. 92 yards. This could get out of hand

The problem with games like this, for me at least, is that you can’t really tell how good NDSU is. Sure, they mollywhopped Albany last week, but with the first quarter barely halfway done you could chalk this one up as a NDSU win already. Life is about learning, and we haven’t learned squat about the Bison in 2021. It’s kinda like picking on your younger sibling- yeah you probably feel pretty good until it’s time to push around someone your size (*cough* JMU *cough* Sam Houston State). 

To be fair to North Dakota State however, JMU scheduled Morehead State (who they beat 68-10) and Sam Houston State scheduled Northern Arizona last week (who they beat 42-16) so maybe North Dakota State deserved this type of game to flex their muscles and get some underclassmen playing time, and chances to score

With ten seconds left in the first quarter, Hunter Luepke was able to score from 20 yards out making it 22-0 after the extra point. Gate City Bank donates $500 for every Bison touchdown- this week it is going to the ND EMS Association who were getting the donations. I’ll ask the question on everyone’s mind, does Gate City Bank give out comically large checks, can bank do payment installments, or is it a Venmo thing? When I find out, I’ll let you know. 

After a big hit to end the quarter, Nimz is out at QB and replaced by freshmen Mason Kaplan to start the second. Kaplan, who might just be the best QB that you have never heard of, had a spectacular career at Norcross High School in Georgia finishing his Senior year with a 13-1 record and a semifinals appearance in the state’s largest classification. He threw for 2,236 yards and 27 touchdowns along with six rushing TDs. He’s so good that I had to actually double check that it was him and not someone else that shared his name. He’s so good in fact that I wouldn’t be shocked if in a few years he was a transfer student looking to be the Bison starting QB.  

The Bison were able to get on the board again with a 65 yard pass from Quincy Patterson to Christian Watson to make it 29-0 with 12:32 left in the half. Watson has the speed that makes him one of the deadliest wideouts in the country, so when he flew by the defense I wasn’t nearly as surprised as I should have been. Patterson attempted two “passes” so far (the flip to Watson shouldn’t *really* count, but here we are), the same amount of carries he has in this one. 

If Patterson averages 100 yards passing/80 yards rushing per game-which I think he would be able to do-he’d be first to do it in Bison history to do it from what I’ve found. I know I’ve said before that this is the end of the “Pro QB Era” in Fargo, but there haven’t been a ton of QBs able to do that for one game let alone a full season. 

Jalen Bussey, the sophomore running back was able to make it a 36-0 game after the extra point with 7:03 left in the half. 3 plays-80 yards-Bussey bouncing to the endzone. I don’t think the speed difference between Bussey hitting the hole and open field is that much different than the guys ahead of him on the depth chart, which makes my “this is a running team” take look better and better. 

With 3:19 and trailing by 36 points the Beacons looked to attempt the conversion on a 4th and five. And by golly they got it. Good for them. It’s a small win in a sea of awful stats in the first half. The second play after converting was a catch-then-fumble by Braden Contreras which almost immediately led to the Bison driving down the field and scoring again on a Patterson keeper for the 52 yard TD run to make it 43-0 with 24 ticks left in the half. 

At the half, the Bison had the same total yards as they did all game against Albany (387). In the last ten years, the Bison have put up five top ten offensive performances with the best one coming in 2019 when NDSU put up a whooping 700 yards of offense against South Dakota. To start the second half Cam Miller a lot of the back ups entered the game so I don’t know if that’s attainable today- but it’s one more thing to keep a blowout interesting. 

For the first time in this game, NDSU had to punt. Confirming the rumor that they do have a punter on the roster. But because it’s just one of those days for the Beacons, punt returner Contreras got lit up like a candle by Destin Talbert, leading to the Bison recovering the fumble on the Valparaiso three yard line. TaMerik Williams walked in for the score to make it 50-0 (and covering the ridiculous spread). It’s not totally Contreras’ fault that the Beacons trail by half a century with almost two full quarters left to play- but he hasn’t helped himself out any. 

The fans who left for the bathroom must have had a tough time, because they never came back after the half. 15,118 was the official attendance count. I would estimate that about half of those fans beat the traffic out of the parking lot.

Which is a shame that they left because they missed the Bison scoring, again. Cam Miller took over and picked up right where he left off last week, throwing the three yard pass and allowing Bussey take it the rest of the way for the 23 yard score to make it a 57-0 game. Also with that score, Gate City Bank now is donating $5,000 to the ND EMS Association. That has to be some sort of tax write off right? I mean, great for charity but come on now, this is getting crazy. 

Speaking of taking over, we get more Kaplan and Sophomore Gabe Lawson for the Beacons due to the game being way out of hand. Normally I would say “Well, it’s sports, anything can happen” but in this game on this Saturday– I’d have to keep my mouth shut. The Bison have owned every facet of the game and we still have 15 minutes left to play. 

Cole Payton, a name that I didn’t know before the PA announcer said it, scored the eighth touchdown of the game to make the score 64-0. North Dakota, who lost 48-24 to Utah State last night, have to be watching this game with gritted teeth. You get to open up conference play on October 2nd at home if you’re the Fighting Hawks, but you are going to be facing a team that will have already scored over 100 points in the month of September. Ouch. 

With the Beacons trying to score their first points of the game, with just a handful of seconds left on the clock Jeffrey Jackons (the third Valparaiso QB to make an appearance) threw a pass to the end zone….only for it to be picked off to end the game. We were a point shy from seeing a record tying performance from the Bison, and 64 yards short of cracking the top ten for most total yards. The only record I witnessed was the Fargodome emptying in record time. There were maybe a handful of Bison faithful still in their seats to hear the final buzzer.

Next week the Bison take on the Towson Tigers with kickoff at 5pm on ESPN+. May God have mercy on their souls.